Fragile

I confess I once thought I could heave mountains
Originally uploaded by J-Pierre

I've noticed since Sunday I've had moments of sadness creeping back in. I attributed this to not going outside of the house for three days (initially because of the snow storm, but towards the end it was simply inertia). On Tuesday Hiren and I got into a minor spat before bed, which he apologized for the next morning as soon as we woke up.

But the damage was done, and all day long yesterday I found myself fighting off sadness. Today I woke up sad again, so once again I'm fighting it. I really can't believe how fragile I am. I've never been fragile. I won't say my recovery from depression is illusion--not at all--but it certainly isn't complete. I guess it's like having the flu: even after you're technically "better," your body is still weak and you have to take it easy or you'll get sick again.

I will NOT get sick again. No way. So, I've been taking it very easy with myself. Today Rohan and I went shopping at fun places--Bed, Bath, & Beyond and Whole Foods. I bought some fun (not expensive) things. I've been listening to spiritually uplifting books in the car. I did my treadmill. I don't give myself enough credit for that, by the way. Got right up and did it first thing this morning even though all I wanted to do was snuggle back in my warm bed with Hiren.

That's my agenda for the day: be nice to myself and take it easy.

P.S.: I think we won the war against the mice. Keep your fingers crossed!